meaningfuel

I am terrible with roundabouts.

I have a graveyard of failed driving tests with the same cause of death: indecision. I made a bad habit of speeding up instead of slowing down. Trying to race my way out of an awkward situation.

To my wife’s annoyance, I now slow down and maybe stop more than I need to. To me, it’s better than crashing and burning and never getting to start again.

Slowing down is okay. Coming to a stop is okay. The destination is momentarily delayed.

But you’re going somewhere and you need to start moving again sometime.

We know when we’ve stopped, we know if we intend to go again. We can mask it from others, but we know what purposeless feels like.

Do the basics: Accept that you aren’t going to go from zero to sixty in an impressive timeframe. Doing the easy-win tasks creates momentum. Clearing your environment improves perception. Doing the basics breaks the cycle. This is not an admission to accept the bare minimum. When you’ve got moving, be kind to yourself. When you keep moving, be a little less kind. Your creating momentum and also discipline to avoid these issues again at the next roundabout.

Look for the cause: What took away your purpose? Anxiety, self-doubt, depression or grief. There’s infinite answers and ultimately, all of them are wrong. The struggle is real but if your life is at a complete halt, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional or speak to your doctor.

“Am I in the right place?”: Have you misinterpreted where you are? Remember, sometimes we need to slow down. For workaholics or highly driven people, slowing down can feel like a complete stop. Slowing down may look like; taking time away from your work, distancing yourself from certain relationships or taking more rest days from the gym. These can be valid and your subconscious way of avoiding burnout.

Accept what is done: Regret serves a purpose to learn. Beyond that, it slows you down. Whatever time has passed, it’s done. If it’s one year, ten or half a lifetime. It’s done.

Find the new: Sometimes we need to move away from things that no longer serve the same purpose. Careers, relationships and hobbies can all change, develop and grow. There is always an argument for physical exercise to re-ignite the spark. Start reading, writing, talking, volunteering; anything to lose the sense of purposeless.

“If you keep on doing what you have always done. You will always get what you have always got.”

Mark Carroll